Communication Between You & Your Chilcare Worker

Communication Article by Glenda Propst

Good relationships must have a foundation. Communication is the foundation of a good
employer/employee relationship. Communication begins with the first interview, and is an
ongoing process between the nanny and the parents.

During the interview, expectations of both parties need to be clearly defined and understood.

¨ Guidelines regarding discipline must be established and agreed upon in the beginning,
and they need to be refined and adjusted as the need arises.

¨ Consistency is crucial.

¨ Children need to know they can take you at your word.

¨ Children need limits. it is important for the nanny and the parents to present a united front.
This means that if one of the parents has a problem with the way the nanny is disciplining,
they will discuss it in private, not in front of the children.

Communication must be implemented into the daily schedule.

Some ways to do this :

¨ Notes

¨ Journals,

¨ Conversation,

¨ Phone calls throughout the day.

¨ Short talks (come 10 minutes early, stay IO minutes late)

¨ Dinner away from the house without the children (this is relaxing, non-threatening, neutral
territory.

¨ Family meetings

Things to Remember:

¨ As nannies especially when we live in, we have a tendency to take everything personally.

¨ Try not take everything personally. Sometimes your employer is in a bad mood because
he/she ( or they both) had a bad day, not because of something you did or did not do.

¨ Sometimes parents don’t even realize that what they are doing is upsetting us.

¨ Don’t assume your employer can read your mind.

¨ Say the words.

¨ Learn to stand up for yourself.

¨ When you finally have the opportunity to sit and talk to the parents about a concern or a
problem, here are some suggestions for making the most of the opportunity.

¨ Be Prepared

¨ Learn to distinguish between what is important what is not important.

¨ Take time to prepare an agenda of what you want to talk about.

¨ Under each item make a list of the points you want to make.

¨ If you write it down, you will not forget anything.

¨ The other advantage to writing things down is that it sends a very clear message to your
employers that his was important to you and you prepared for it.

¨ Try to balance the negative with the positive.

¨ Try to create win/win resolutions.

¨ If you present a problem, offer some solutions.

¨ Do not place blame.

¨ Keep in mind that if you have a concern or a problem it is not going to go away. You must
learn to deal with it like an adult.(  isn’t that one of the very important character traits you
are trying to teach your charges?)

If you have a difficult time learning how to communicate effectively, take an assertiveness
training class. It will be worth the time and money and it will benefit you in every area of your
life for years to come

7 Ways To Cope With Difficult Behaviour From Your Child

1.  Establish House Rules
Make simple rules for your child. Start with a few “things we do and don’t do.” Discuss them with your child.

2.  Prevention Is Better Than Cure
If you feel that your child’s behaviour is beginning to get out of control, “nip it in the bud” by distracting your child’s attention onto a positive activity or game.

3.  Understand Your Child’s Behaviour
Define simply and clearly any difficult behaviour. Keep a diary of what led up to the behaviour and what immediately followed it. From this, see if there is a pattern. What are the triggers and consequences which might be keeping the behaviour going? What are the “pay-offs” to your child – are you giving the behaviour a lot of attention and “giving in for a quiet life”? DON’T blame yourself but work at changing your responses.

4.  Discipline With Short Time-Outs
Try to view discipline in a different way e.g. if a rule is broken, discipline with a time out a short, quiet time alone, without play. Alternatively ignore minor behaviour difficulties as your attention will often inadvertently encourage the very behaviour you want to stop.

5.  Take Five
When tensions and anger rise in you or your child take five. Take five minutes to cool down and to ask yourself, “Why am I getting so angry?” Try to identify the real problem, then find the  solution.

6.  Never Strike In Anger
Research has shown that hitting your child does not help, and can do more damage. Try to avoid striking your child in anger. Smacking is not effective in reducing poor behaviour, as it does not teach children good behaviour.

7.  No Yelling Allowed
Words hurt, too. Try to avoid yelling at your children in anger. Do not put down your children. If they break a rule, tell them what they did wrong and why that makes you angry. Be angry at what they did, NOT at who they are.

Your Guide To Finding A Qualified Nanny

Your complete guide to finding a qualified nanny or finding a job as a nanny

As consumers & parents we were shocked at the high prices for Nanny Agencies & on line Nanny  services.  It was a stressful experience to say the least.  As a consumer you want to save money, but as parents we wanted the best for our child.

We decided to really do some research on what was best for us and our daughter.  Nanny Angencies charge upwards of 10% of what the nannies salary will be.  So if you would pay a nanny in the neighborhood of say $25000.00 a year you would pay the agency $2500.00!  The first thing we did was to rule out agencies because not only of the price but we found many on line nanny locator’s who offered the same package for anywhere between $250.00 & $400.00.
Our next step was to look at the different on line services & compare what they have to offer.  We looked for services that had updated databases, price, money back grantees, & last but not least ease of use.  What we found was they were all pretty much the same except for a few items that need to be mention.
1. We found some of the databases had a lot of old data that was no longer available. We dismissed a percentage of that to the fact that either the families or nannies have found what they were looking for and have not notified the locating service.  The difference was how often the services updated their databases.  The key  here when looking if you see names that are over 6 months old their is a good chance they are not updating their database.  I like to compare it to buying last weeks newspaper.  One final note on this topic, you should use your discretion when viewing their databases.  If you are seeing a lot of old files, get out quickly, their is a good chance they are a fly-by-night outfit that doesn’t care about you & your needs.

2. Money back guarantees are a good way to entice customer to use their service and their is nothing wrong with that concept as long you take the time to read the guidelines on how their guarantee works.  Rule of thumb if you’re not sure ask!

3. Pricing for services online is good when compared to Nanny agencies on the street.  Keep in mind just because you paid a lot of money for their service that doesn’t mean you will get the best service.  The old adage of “you get what you pay for” is not always the the case.  We found a few on line service with big expensive pages and tons of money spent on advertising that could not hold a candle to some of the much smaller sites. So all we are saying is don’t be taken by the all the glitz and bells and whistles a site has, but rather what is good for you & your family.

4. Ease of use
    When you look for a site, make sure it is easy to use & navigate around in.  Last thing you want is spending your money on a site that you can’t find anything.  You should not have to be a webmaster to browse a site.

5. Nanny Background Checks
    Background checks are extremely important! With that said, let’s take a look on these services. Some of the nanny locator sites include the price of a background check which is good but we found some that included checking services that were not very good or did not get all the information.  That is not a good thing!  For us we found it easier to have a background check done ourselves and that way we could pick which agency we wanted to do the check.  These checks range from $19.95 to over a hundred dollars.  The same rule applies here as with locator services, spending more does not guarantee the best service. Our recommendation… look for a background check service, and do it yourself. If you have any problems you can deal with them directly and probably get better results.
Closing Statement:
In closing I would like to say to other parents or nannies looking for employment, take your time and check out the service throughly.  Remember what we said here and you should have no problems finding the right service and the perfect nanny for your family.